Thursday

I went into Marietta to have the car brakes fixed early this morning - had an interesting discussion with a Mormon man about theological things...When he said that he had eight children I knew he was either Catholic or Mormon and there could be an interesting discussion...Of course, as always, the differences begin- right at the beginning!- with the different understanding of the nature of man. He was adamant that his small children were not intrinsically sinful...And the solution to sin always depends on the way in which the problem is understood in the first place! It is helpful to go there first thing in a discussion as everything, everything, rest on this. In a sense you are wasting time discussing matters of meaning until you have dealt with what a human being is...In any case, he was a lovely man and I certainly appreciated his commitment to good morals...

I kept fielding calls from Johnson Ferry personnel as to food for the reception after Ashton's funeral. It seems to be coming together nicely, as Grace assured me it would...You all know how much I enjoy food-related mass hospitality!!! Grace is taking care of Alicia's circle of acquaintances for food donations; I am doing the church...I have been most impressed with the people of Johnson Ferry so far - very helpful and obliging. Their minister is Bryant Wright - well known in SBC circles, a good friend of Andy Stanley...Kelly Ward works as a waitress at Olive Garden and they are going to contribute salad and bread sticks tomorrow...We have, of course, no idea how many people will be there, so hope we will have enough food without gallons left over!

I was going to go to the Wards today, but was held up so couldn't get there in time to be useful. I did talk with Alicia, though, and she sounded so tired...I know she and her mom, Kelly, went to view Ashton's body at 1 pm, before cremation...so they said their good-byes to what is mortal at that point. My heart bleeds for Donna. I pray God will help me to be as faithful a friend to her in the next months as I want to be.

It has been cold today! High fifties, low sixties though should be back to mid-eighties tomorrow...We received the second installment of "The Duchess of Duke Street" today in the mail - have enjoyed it so far, so hope it continues to give us much pleasure...

All for now!

She's So Little and She's Had So Much Pain

She's so little, Mom, and she's had so much pain. I can't stand seeing her getting hurt again. All I can think about is how she used to come over to our house and cry and cry when her father was leaving her mother...

Barbara, when I got the call this morning, I said for God to do what was best and to take him if it was His will, but I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it. I want him back! I want him back!

And a grandmother who has lost her only grandson; a grandfather who has lost his only grandson.

Food and chit-chat...I'm fine, thanks...But did you know Ashton died today?

Father, bless them. They love you and they're hurting so much.

News Round Up

Last week (and the week before) Uncle Ron was at the trailer part every day working on the unit which has been down for such a long time. By the time he left, both walls and ceiling were completed so his efforts were a tremendous blessing to us...Of course, he was wonderful company, as well...We had great conversations, and watched many music videos together. As they have only dial up internet connection in Perth, he loved having access to You Tube! Dad and I took him to the bus station in Chattanooga on Saturday, then went to Grace and Justin's for their annual street fair. Pat and Maryanne were there, as well, so We had fun visiting together. They have a huge exercise ball that the kids had fun pushing around the yard, and rolling over. (Their mommy enjoyed it, too!)...We all pitched in for pizza and that was the end of that day...Home and to bed...Sunday we went to church in Chattanooga again, then to Andrew's for lunch...Home and a very quiet Memorial Day - truly vegetated - good for Dad, especially...I will babysit Jeannette's kids this afternoon, then clean our vacant trailer tomorrow and get the sign out yet once more...Thursday I will go over to Maryanne's. That night Pat will watch the kids and she will show me her way of using coupons to get many pharmaceutical items, and food items, virtually free! Friday morning I will watch Anna "graduate" and that will end the work week...Saturday we will celebrate Dad's birthday here...Have to work out a menu! And so goes my week...Mundane, but satisfying!

Anecdote for Anna

Anna is always asking for stories of when we - Dad and I- and you - my children - were small...The other day I thought of something I had not recalled for years. When we arrived back in Canada from Scotland, we went to Ottawa for a time - stayed with Grammie and Bapa before settling in Ancaster. Maryanne did not seem well and had an odd rash, so I took her to the family clinic that Mom and Dad always used. They said she had - of all things - shingles! They had never seen this in a child her age and were concerned there had to be other physical problems compromising her immune system. Therefore, they had to take a blood sample to analyze blood chemistry. When she heard this, Maryanne, my Maryanne, who was always the child to act responsibly and sensibly no matter what shot out the door. It was a Saturday, the building was almost empty, and she simply disappeared. I went hunting for her, calling her name, and would see just a hint of her as she rounded the corners ahead of me. We went down corridors, up and down stairs, until I finally headed her off in the bathroom. She absolutely refused to let the lab take any blood...until I had talked with her for many minutes. I still wonder what sparked such a reaction in my otherwise resolute and obliging daughter...Guess it was the insecurity of those few months!

CS Lewis and Me

Before I go on, a couple of things I forgot in my last post...Too good to pass up....I am at the end of the driveway just hanging around. A big boy runs up to me. He is carrying a large stick. "If you don't yell s---, I am going to hit you with this." I look at the boy. I look at the stick. I weigh the alternatives. I throw back my head and yell s--- as loudly as I can. Mom comes running out and she is not happy. the boy has disappeared - not a trace of him...But Mommy, a big boy came and told me if....It didn't work. For some reason she didn't believe me. And I had my mouth washed out with soap...But it was true. Honest!!!

That was the me part...Now for CS Lewis...I found a few pages of notes from some Lewis reading I was doing, who knows when, who knows from which book...But a few quotes. Gold from among the dross - and Lewis certainly had much of each:

There can be a difference between morality and belief about facts. For instance, people who lived centuries ago are criticized for having put "witches" to death. Why would it be wrong to put those to death that you sincerely believe are casting spells to destroy the lives and livlihoods of many?

I am not the landlord of myself, but the tenant.

Christianity is an education in itself.

Pride is the worst of sins. Its only pleasure is rejoicing in being better than others.

Sexual appetite is so affected by sin that one man will have the desire of ten, not the desire of two - as is the case with appetite for food.

All sorts of sins against individuals in a society are justified on the basis of one being sacrificed for the many. But one individual is eternal. Any culture lasts only a few years, in comparison.

One man's temper is responsible for the death of thousands. Another's is just the subject of mockery.

Earliest Memories

We lived in Ayer's Cliff, Quebec for 2-3 years. I was four and a half when we moved to Chicoutimi, then - when a vacancy came up - onto Bagotville Air Force Station. These are all Ayer's Cliff memories...

I have been sick, very sick. I have been in bed with pneumonia for many days. The doctor has come and gone. Finally, I am well enough that Mom says I can go outside as long as I sit on the front porch on one of our little, child-sized green chairs. I agree, Alright, Mommy. The fresh air feels so good after being cooped up in the house for so long...I sit for a time, but Laura, Richard and Cory are having such fun playing up and down the long driveway, and in Richard's yard, next door. In no time at all I am a fugitive, escaping from the provisions of my parole. And the long arm of the law catches up with me quickly. But there is leniency. I go inside again but I am not spanked. Many of my early memories deal with issues of guilt, justice and so on.

The quartet (Laura, Barbara, Richard and Cory) is outside again. We are at war with the French kids who live at the beginning of the long driveway which wends its way down to our little, white house. Why, they can't even talk properly. They are our enemies, always have been. As we trade insults - incomprehensible to one another - I see an old, metal dish detergent bottle lying in the driveway. We advance into their territory and I heave it at them. To my extreme surprise, it hits one of them in the forehead. We beat a hasty retreat, but are aware that a French mother is yelling something to our backs. As far as I remember, she never did knock on our door and tell Mom and Dad about it. Whew!

It is a rainy day and our gang is in our house playing. I am the youngest, always the youngest, and they have plans for me. They have devised a cutting-edge game called, "Hide the Poo". One person is to poo in hidden places and the others are to search until they find this particular offering. I am unanimously chosen to be "it". And, as little kids so often can, I was able to come up with the requisite material. Here, in our playroom closet...Did they find it? Yes. Did Mom find it? Yes. And she found the fly swatter as well. I don't remember whether the older participants got spanked or not, but I sure did. It was a game that was never repeated!

It is summer and the gang is roaming the neighborhood looking for something to do. We wander over to the tennis courts and see a game in progress. We begin to act silly, diverting the players from their game. A young man says he is going to call th police. Well, you never saw little children disappear so quickly. We race back to our house, run up the stairs, and round up all the blankets we can find to create a hideaway under our beds. We dash up and down stairs a few times finding supplies - a flashlight, crackers and peanut butter - to carry us through a siege of indefinite length. And we settle in to wait. Hours later, nothing has happened and we sneak downstairs to ask Mom what she thinks the chances are that we are safe. She assures us the police will not take us away. I'll bet she enjoyed the quietest summer afternoon of the year!

The Woods, our neighbors next door, have a huge vegetable garden. We often play in and around it with their son, Richard. We are there on day when his pet crow, Blackie, flutters down right onto my head. Help, help, help!!!

Our friend, Cory, and his family, live in an upstairs apartment close by. They have a television and Laura and I often go over there to watch "Captain Kangaroo". Mrs. Bowen is slim and lively. One day she startles us both no end by taking a pail and spinning it around to show us that the water will not fly out. Now we regard her with more awe than ever! Some days, Cory's big sister, Melissa, takes us to a nearby swamp so we can see beaver dams. We even walk on them. I don't remember our parents ever being concerned for our safety and there were, indeed, no mishaps.

One day Dad takes me out in the car. We are going to "Staffords", a china shop, to buy a present for Mom. We pick out a beautiful teapot with sugar bowl and creamer, which Mom had to the day she died...Turquoise blue, with gold trim...Don't know who has it now...

Today is another day of indoor play. Mom lets Laura and I bring our tricycles inside. We are driving them around and around on the hardwood floors upstairs. Such fun! Until I pause at the head of the stairs and look down. Laura gives a quick push and down I go, tricycle and all. An unforgettable moment, thanks to my big sister!

I have been given permission to go across the street all by myself. The object of my journey is the general store, where they have a bubble gum machine. I love putting in my penny and waiting to see which color rolls out. Black is my favorite, but almost anything except green pleases me. I walk to the end of the driveway and look carefully both ways. I run as though my life depends on it and I arrive safely on the far side of the road. All is well. I get my gum, and now, the trip in reverse. I look carefully again, and there is a car coming. What do I do? I panic and run out in front of it. The driver jams on his brakes and I am safely on the other side. I wisely withhold this information from my mother, but do not ask to cross the street again for a long time.

Laura has begun school. It is no fair! She is older than I am and always gets to do everything first! The horrible part is that she always will! Today she came home from school and says she can pump her swing all by herself. I still need to be pushed. She is growing up. I am losing her...

My best little-girl friend lives just down the street. Her name is Donna Hartson and her father owns a store. When I go to visit her I am always given candy. I remember pedaling down the street on my tricycle yelling, Donna! Donna!

Laura and I are quarreling. Mom is going to bake a cake and has asked us what kind she should make. We don't care about the cake itself but we have strong opinions as to the icing. I want chocolate. Laura wants vanilla. Chocolate! Vanilla! Chocolate! Vanilla! Mom tells us to go out and play. A little while later she calls us in. There, on the table, is a beautiful layer cake. Exactly one half is chocolate and one half is vanilla. How she loves us! She has made us both so happy.

We love our mother and she loves us. We never doubt it. But she has a temper! And when she is angry, streams of unrepeatable words come out of her mouth. (This lasts exactly until Laura begins to repeat them) She is in the bathroom. We know this because the door is closed and smoke curls out from under the door. We are quarreling again. The focus of our quarrel is a doll's hair. We hunt Mom down and whine outside the door. Fuss! Fuss! The door opens and the long arm of the law reaches out. The door closes again. In a minute it reopens and our doll is spit out-minus her hair! It has been ripped right off! We retreat downstairs and are as good as gold the rest of the day.

It is the summer of 1956 and there are two major changes in my life. The first has already taken place. I have a new little sister. We have decided to name her Elizabeth Joanna. Grandfather Belford is so pleased because Elizabeth, unknown to Mom and Dad, was his mother's name. Joanna is after our cousin who will be her godmother. I am not allowed to push Elizabeth's carriage on the street, but when we visit our friend, I push her up and down, up and down their driveway...The second change will come at the end of the summer. We are moving far away to a place called Bagotville, because Dad has a new job there...

This God of Ours

This morning I was just reading again about David escaping from Absalom as he rebels against his father...Here is the situation. Absalom has risen up, according to Nathan's prophecy against David. Because David had destroyed Uriah's house - in his sin with Bathsheba - strife would never leave his own house. David is on the run and people are forced to take sides. Ahitophel, the great and wise counselor that was "as God" to David, opted to now serve Absalom. The fact that he was Bathsheba's grandfather probably had something to do with this...Hushai, the other famed wiseman decided he would continue to support David....David now turns to Hushai and asks him to play a secret part. He tells him to go back to Jerusalem and pretend to be one of Absalom's supporters. This way he can covertly work for David against Absalom. Hushai agrees...The first thing that has to be decided is what to do about David. What strategy should they use to destroy him? Ahitophel advises that Absalom should go immediately with such soldiers as he has and hunt David down. He alone would be killed. The rest of the people would then turn to Absalom as their king. This plan would be straightforward and prevent much bloodshed...Absalom listened. Then he decided to ask Hushai for his advice. Hushai vehemently protested Ahitophel's plan. He said David was much too fierce a warrior to be approached with only a few men. Instead, Absalom should wait a few days and round up many more soldiers to fight with him. Then they would approach David in strength and defeat him...The Bible says explicitly that Ahitophel's advice was good, Hushai's was not - it was not intended to be...So who did Absalom ultimately agree with? Hushai, according to God's plan. And what was the outcome of that? About 20,000 deaths...God saved David's life at the cost of 20,000 men, or thereabouts...Those 20,000 men were not innocent, in any absolute sense, of course. They had no right even to their own lives before God. But what a God this is, to make decisions like this. Any man making them would be culpable to the nth degree. But not God. Amazing. Indeed, as CS Lewis says, He is not a tame lion!

Aileen

My family has not been a dating family - something I have encouraged. Wait until after high school when you will not have to wait too long before you can marry. And Tim does. But he did meet a local girl while he was still in high school and he has remembered her. And now she is available to get to know...They talk and talk and talk. Aileen is not a Christian and Tim knows she must understand and commit to the faith before he can consider her his girlfriend. And he walks that fine line well. So does she. We first meet her on a Sunday. She has agreed to come to church with Tim. She has borrowed a dress from a friend - one she thinks must be appropriate church attire. How would she know? This is a new experience...We all pile into our van and begin our long Sunday in St. Thomas together. It is demanding but Aileen listens well. She comes over often and though the noise level is difficult for her, she covers her ears as necessary and continues on. Eventually, Tim senses she is ready to make a profession of faith. I take her out for lunch and in the car, as we are about to drive home, she fully understands the gospel and prays that the death of Christ will cover her sin. We are delighted, but now in some ways things become even more difficult. Of course Tim may now date her, but we know the rate of new converts falling away from the faith is very high. What should we do? We watch her carefully, and challenge them regularly in different ways. It is difficult. But it shows much about her character. Even when she doesn't like it, she is teachable. When push comes to shove, she will always submit to what we ask as parents. This helps me see inside her and I like what I see.

Eventually, Tim asks her out for dinner. They come back and Tim says he would like us to meet his fiance. Well, he fooled us all. We had no idea this was his night to become engaged. Good for you, Tim! And a year later they are married.

And now Aileen is Tim's wife. Soon she becomes the mother of Tim's children - of Nick and Abby and Michaela. And they have been married almost ten years. What do I see now? I see a young woman that I love with all my heart. Father, thank you for matching Tim so well. You continue to bring out the beauty of Aileen's character so marvellously. She who was once Much Afraid has become brave and trusting. Her native integrity and good judgment continue to issue forth in wisdom that blesses us all. Her conscience is tender. She desires to do what is right. Her children are loved fiercely. She understands her husband well and has let him do what he must do under the Lord even when it has been most difficult for her. For this, may not only her children, but many not known by name, rise up and call her blessed.