The Orphan

There it sits on Highway 41, and to us it looks quite good. A little yellow house in a large yard, surrounded by a chain-link fence - that part not beautiful, but certainly functional for children and pets. Inside a large, bright kitchen with intact tile floor and many cupboards and ...Over-sized living room and spacious bedrooms and...Carpeting of dark green and...Walls of wood paneling...To us, though not our taste, it seems to be the style of our prospective tenants....Why, oh why, then, will no one adopt our poor little orphan house?

Hello, Mam?

Yes.

I;m calling about the house you have advertised in "the Georgia Trader".

Yes, What would you like to know?

How many bedrooms?

Two, and one bathroom.

How much is it?

$525, and you do the utilities.

How much are they?

About $230 a month for gas and electric. We do water.

How much is the deposit?

$250.

...My turn now...

Who would be living in it?

Me and my fiance....(if a female)....Me and my girlfriend...(if a male)...Always and inevitably the responses of the unmarried - most of the callers......And my sister and her baby....Or, and my brother and his girlfriend....Or, and my daughter and my grandbabies...

I count bodies in my mind....No, I'm afraid the house would not be big enough for that many people, or, alright, and on to the next step...

How many of these people would be working?

None of us, one of us, two of us, three of us....I am on disability, he is on unemployment...So many permutations and combinations....

Then what would be you monthly income stream?

$800...I'm sorry, but that would not be enough to carry the costs...$900...I'm sorry, but that would not be enough to carry the costs...$1000. $1100,$1200, $1300, $1400,...I'm sorry, but....Around $1500 I begin to try and put money together with information about them.

What is your present rent? Have you been able to make that work? Alright, well, we will be glad to show it to you. Come and see it and, if you are interested, fill out a rental application form.

Their turn again...Oh, and Mam - an after thought-do you take pets?

Which pets would that be?

Three pit bulls - just little,bitty friendly ones...Three English Bulldogs, just little ,bitty, friendly ones...

No.

But some get through...Hello, and I show the whole gamut of North Georgia humankind the home. And, unlike the people we show our trailers, most seem responsible. They probably would be decent tenants. They conscientiously fill out our lengthy application form - social security number, license number, two previous addresses with landlords' names, personal references, job references, income stream, banking information, debts...and they leave it all with us as they walk out the door knowing they are not going to rent from us. They never call back, ever...

I do not understand them. And our poor little orphan house sits and waits...