Choices

I have a choice right now, here, today. I can either choose to actively re-engage with life, or not...The past few years have been hard, no question about it. I have lost my remaining children, our financial future is shot, there have been stresses in our marriage, loneliness due to constant moves, confusion and upheaval in society at large...So, what do I want? Do I choose to be like Pam's friend, Carol? She has just died and Pam spent the last two weeks of her life with her. She had had struggles and stresses in her life, disappointments and heartaches...but was a lovely Christian woman....However, she did not seem to die well. She was uninterested in Scripture, in all spiritual talk, in any communication whatsoever...Why? I think I know...Because she disengaged from life, ever so little years ago, because of the pain, the disappointment....And the habit grew. Distance and more distance...Less and less interest...And then with increasing age, a feeling that this world was not her world in any case. And not just from a Christian stance ...Familiar people, places, society - All gone....And it was just too hard to commit to going back into the struggle, the struggle of a soldier on active duty until death...She did not deny the faith. Never. But she didn't live it triumphantly until the end....So now I have my choice to make. And so will you. Do I get back into battle formation or not? Right now. My heart and my mind say together: yes, yes, yes...Amen!