I now live in a five-day week. Monday and Tuesday, as I have known them most of my life, are now non-existent - long shifts of phone calls and chats, phone calls and chats...
Cutting, sexual abuse, physical abuse, adultery, pornography, fornication, suicide, homicide, loneliness, aloneness and alienation...
But you know what shocks me the most? It has become just a job. It is a job I love and that I put all I can into, interaction by interaction but - still, mostly just a job...I hang up the phone or I end the chat, look back at my call lists a few minutes later, and I can't distinguish the people or recall what we talked about....The issues are - unfortunately - so similar, and things move so quickly...
As I said a couple of posts ago, I am so glad God is not like me...My extreme limitations in compassion and imagination are just mine, not His...I speak with these kids, "love" them and forget them. But He carries me right within His heart always and forever...
3 comments:
Mom, I am always amazed with myself how even someone I am really close to can tell me something that's going on in their lives...and I forget within hours...
the one place where forgetting is a good thing
Some of the forgetting might just be the fact that your adrenalin gets going too. You are such an intense thinker, and you might simply be so "in-the-moment" that you are on automatic. That might be my guess. No doubt you are excellently equipped for your job! And then you have me calling you all needy when you are not on-call. Lucky you!
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